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Can you parent collaboratively after a divorce?

On Behalf of | Sep 9, 2022 | Child Custody |

If you have gone through a bitter divorce, you may be good at fighting with your ex-spouse. Still, because the two of you share children, you are probably going to have to put aside your differences at some point for the good of your kids. If you cannot do so, your co-parenting arrangement is likely to be bad for everyone in your family.

According to Psychology Today, collaborative parenting is necessary for any co-parenting arrangement to succeed, but it does not always happen. With this type of parenting, you and your ex-spouse work as a team to raise your kids, even if you are no longer in a legally valid marriage. Fortunately, with some work, you and your ex can both be successful collaborative parents.

Communicate excessively

Even if you would prefer never to hear from your ex-spouse again, you do not have the option of ending all communications with your co-parent. Indeed, by communicating excessively about child-related matters, you can be sure you and your ex are on the same page.

Put your feelings aside

It is perfectly acceptable to have some anger and other negative feelings about your ex-spouse. These feelings should not interfere with your parenting responsibilities, though. By putting negative feelings aside, you and your ex can focus on the kids instead of rehashing old grievances.

Keep your kids out of your arguments

Eventually, you and your co-parent are going to disagree about something. You should never use your children as pawns in your disputes, however. Rather, you and your ex should address disagreements proactively and without involving the kids.

No one says collaborative parenting after divorce is easy. Ultimately, though, if you and your ex can get it right, your kids are apt to grow into healthy, happy and productive adults.